Lesson 2 using clear, descriptive language

 Lesson 2  using clear, descriptive language

Avoid vague language and unclear words, such as good and nice. Instead choose clear and precise words. 

examples	explanation
At the 2012 Olympic Games in London, Usain Bolt of Jamaica broke his own Olympic record in the 100-meter dash. He is a good runner.	Poor word choice: good. Good is vague.  Good does not adequately describe an athlete who has won an Olympic medal.
At the 2012 Olympic Games in London, Usain Bolt of Jamaica broke his own Olympic record in the 100-meter dash. He is an exceptional runner.	Better word choice: exceptional.  Exceptional rs more precise.  Exceptional tells the reader that Usain Bolt is more than a good runner.
At the 2012 Olympic Games in London, Usain Bolt of Jamaica broke his own Olympic record in the 100-meter dash. He is a ________ runner.	Other clear and descriptive words to fit this sentence.  Outstanding, phenomenal, premier, unique.

Adding adjectives or prepositions phrases can make your sentence more specific and descriptive to improve the clarity of your writing. 

Original: The soldiers slowly crossed the river. 

More specific: 

The soldiers slowly crossed the river. 

The soldiers slowly crossed the river in the dark. 

The soldiers slowly crossed the dangerous river in the dark. 

The tired soldiers slowly crossed the dangerous river in the dark. 

Exercise 1

Find appropriate adjectives.

1. Good: wonderful, incredible or delightful. 

2. Bad: horrible, terrible, awful. 

3. Fun

4. Big

5. Small

6. Old

Exercise 2

Replace each vague or simple phrase with a more descriptive or accurate phrase. 

1. The old house.  The dilapidated house in the abandoned town. 

2. The long road. 

3. A nice gift. 

4. In the dark forest. 

5. The big factory

6. The good dessert. 

Clarity in sentences

Vague or unclear	clear
The guy went to the store	Miguel went to the hardware store to purchase a power drill.
Jennifer took her thing with her when she went out.	Jennifer took her sunblock, glasses, and a towel when she went to the beach.
The house was dark.	The house was dimly lit; the only source of light was a candle in the hallway.

Exercise 3

Rewrite each vague sentence and improve its clarity with ore descriptive words 

1. That person knows a lot about computers. 

2. His clothes looked nice.

3. The store is big.

4. After eating, we went to a house. 

Clear pronoun reference. 

Writers often use pronouns to avoid repeating a noun in a sentence or paragraph. Pronouns can make your writing clear and precise as long as every pronoun refers to a specific noun. 

explanation	examples
Pronouns take the place of a person, place, or thing; Monique                    she Sao Paulo                it, its Table computers       they Replace nouns with pronouns to avoid repetition of nouns	Monique worked in the library when she was a student.  One of the largest cities in the world is Sao Paulo. It has close to 20 million people in its metropolitan area.  Many schools are purchasing table computers because they are portable and easy to use.
Remember to make sure that every pronoun reference refers to a specific noun. If a pronoun reference is unclear, use the precise noun.	Unclear pronoun reference: Children should not be allowed to watch horror movies for many reasons. They say that these movies can disturb children.  With the precise noun: Children should not be allowed to watch horror movies for many reasons. Most psychologists say that these movies can disturb children.

Exercise 4

Edit for clear pronoun references

1. My favorite snacks are blueberries and plain rice cakes. I like them because of the crunchy texture and of course the fact that they are a low calorie, healthy snack. 

2. Chili is a kind of thick soup made with ground meat. Some people prepare it with beans. They like the combination of taste. 

3. My uncle cooked chicken, corn, and potatoes for dinner. My cousin Frank liked them, but he did not like the corn. 

4. One of the easiest dishes to prepare is hummus. Hummus is a very thick dip made from mashed garbanzo beans. They are mixed with tahini paste. It tastes great.